The 17mm on the 60D is equal to a 27mm on the FF 5Dm2. The 17-40 could go on the 5Dm2 and get some interesting ultra wide angle shots.
If I were you, I would sell the T1i, get 1 5Dm2 and 1 7D (two 5Dm2's is not bad, but the AF and variety will be better with a 7D). Buy the set for it's capabilities, not the price. And don't be afraid to switch cameras between the two of you.
I would also get the 85mm f/1.8. I have it and it is great. If I were doing weddings professionally, the 85mm f/1.2 would have to be on the table as a choice. If the 5D2 was using the primes and the 7D was using the zooms, you might be able to bump up the ISO enough to not need a flash on the 5D while having a quick enough shutter speed. Although, you don't want to be in the position where 50% of the pictures didn't come out because you tried to use f/1.8 and a 1/30 shutter speed.
Get some type of backpack or pelican case to carry this gear in. Get compact flash cards and come up with a system to not lose pictures. Batteries, tripods (I recommend this accessory http://www.bhphotovideo.com/c/product/52783-REG/Stroboframe_300_115_Vertaflip_PHD_On_Tripod_Camera.html
), flash umbreallas,...) Figure out the post processing to get photos processed quickly. And have a list of pictures that you will try and get to tell the story.
Once you have this gear, it is important that you know how to use it and find great photos regardless of the conditions. Be in the right places, use the right settings, and try not to be a distraction.