I shoot with both the 70-200 f/2.8L IS II and the f/4L IS. Since moving up to the 5D3 from the T2i, I have hardly used the f/2.8 version at all - the f/4 version is just as sharp. That said, I primarily shoot outdoors and in decent lighting. If I were shooting weddings where lighting tends to be challenging, I would still think that having an f/2.8 would be required. I think your approach on getting one f/2.8, one f/4 and then sharing one with your husband would potentially work. I also think that the 135 f/2L and 70-200 f/4L IS option would be useful and overall lighter and cheaper.