RChung, my dear new friend, I understand your problem, and I am here to help. I am sure I can too!
Send me a private message, and I will give you my mailing address. You carefully ship all of your equipment to me, and after I receive it (with the receipts of course), I will purchase for you, and send you a perfect camera that will be right for you. I think the Powershot G1X left on full auto will be just the ticket, and it has video to boot!
Most of us would agree that the camera guy sold you the crappiest camera that Canon makes along with some nasty lenses. Actually, it is only the goodness of my heart that I would accept it from you. Imagine the hit to my image if I were to be seen sporting that big black abomination of a camera. You are lucky I don't ask you for money to take it off your hands.