August 22, 2014, 08:04:21 PM

Author Topic: Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos  (Read 3693 times)

ScottyP

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Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos
« on: May 07, 2013, 08:31:00 PM »
Popular car maker Honda announced today that it will stop making such popular cars as the Civic, Accord and Odyssey, and will begin producing only one vehicle:  a super stretch limousine.  Honda's press release states that its customers will actually break even, or possibly come out ahead.  This calculation assumes that the customer would have purchased one new model of each of the 11 different vehicles Honda makes every year, and would of course have crushed all its previous-year Hondas into metal cubes for recycling every year. 

Critics point out that very few existing Honda customers actually buy a whole fleet of Hondas each year, as it would be cost-prohibitive and also more vehicles than any one person would typically use.  Most people, consumer advocates contend, would only purchase one or two Honda models, and would ordinarily hold onto them somewhat longer.

As an added incentive, each of the new hulking 40-person limousines comes with a large, roomy 6' x 12' U-haul trailer to tow behind the enormous limousines, for useful storage.

Honda dismisses criticism as short-sighted, and "the grumbling of a lot of low-value casual drivers of one or two vehicles", as they pursue their more-valued top 2% customers.  When asked for comment, representatives from Ford, GM, Nissan, Toyota and Chrysler all said they would be happy to welcome the discarded 98% of Honda's customer base into a dealership to view their own selection of much lower-priced, and individually-available vehicles.
« Last Edit: May 07, 2013, 08:33:43 PM by ScottyP »
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neuroanatomist

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Re: Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2013, 09:45:44 PM »
A daringly obfuscating yet brilliant metaphor.  ;)
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rpt

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Re: Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2013, 09:51:58 PM »
LOL! You guys made my morning! :)

RAKAMRAK

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Re: Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2013, 10:43:45 PM »
I must be really stupid. It took me reading the entire first two paragraphs of the OP to have any inkling of what (s)he was alluding to.

But once I understood, it is hilarious. :)
Need to learn a lot more.
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RGF

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Re: Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos
« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2013, 11:03:55 PM »
Unfortunately there are no good ford, chevy, toyota, .. alternatives.  Only Yugos

Mt Spokane Photography

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Re: Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos
« Reply #5 on: May 07, 2013, 11:48:06 PM »
If they outsell the competition, then why not ;)

Normalnorm

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Re: Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos
« Reply #6 on: May 07, 2013, 11:51:35 PM »
If they outsell the competition, then why not ;)

+1
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DArora

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Re: Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2013, 01:05:48 AM »
Ha ha!! this post made my day.. :)

wickidwombat

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Re: Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos
« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2013, 02:59:38 AM »
But I hear they will have cloud-like ride and handling
so quite you will be able to hear the cash register ticking over every mile
ooops did I say cash register I meant odometer
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Re: Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos
« Reply #9 on: May 08, 2013, 03:51:27 AM »
Good one!  ;D
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tomscott

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Re: Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos
« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2013, 04:03:42 AM »
Brilliant, but il stick with BMW ;)
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Mt Spokane Photography

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Re: Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos
« Reply #11 on: May 08, 2013, 11:09:33 AM »
Now, if they would only lease one to you, required you to buy gas from their stations, and automatically disabled it when you were a day late on your lease payment, and locked the doors with your kids in the car, I'd be upset.

crasher8

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Re: Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos
« Reply #12 on: May 08, 2013, 11:19:50 AM »
They should make a camera

rpt

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Re: Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos
« Reply #13 on: May 08, 2013, 11:45:41 AM »
They should make a camera
I second that. And with stretched DR ;)


Vivid Color

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Re: Honda to start selling ONLY stretch limos
« Reply #14 on: May 08, 2013, 12:55:33 PM »
It will be most interesting to see how the market responds.

For those of you that are Photoshop users, how will this affect you? What will you do?

By the way, to the OP, brilliant parody!