I like your shot, thank you for posting it. The kids, school bags and bus tell a story and it is the one you want, their (first) school day. The colours are bright and again remind me of children at school as kids apparel/ toys etc tend to be bright and colourful, and your image reflects this. Nicely done!
But I'm undecided about the bus, mainly because it such a large background element in the image and effetively dominates the background. The grass around the base make me think the school is in a rural area and maybe this too is by design, but maybe the same image but with other kids or the school could also work? You probably have taken other shots on the same day, so if you posted those maybe you could get other feedback?
To your opening question, I like viewing and critiquing pictures taken by others because you can always learn from their composition, ideas, PP, editing and so on. And that can only help ones own skills.