Feature 1: Shutter correction. Let's face the facts, when you take a picture, you've already missed the shot. Shutter correction adds a random timer to trigger the shutter 5-200 seconds later, ensuring your mistake can still turn into the perfect shot.
Feature 2: Auto pan. Henceforth, when shooting in "Program Auto" mode, DSLR's will also make framing, panning and tilting decisions FOR you! No need for critical thinking. After all, technology will always be more intelligent than the artist.
Feature 3: HSL randomizer. Who said a good picture or video needs to reflect accurate hue, saturation and lightness? With HSL randomizer, your DSLR will pick random numbers for each control, so you'll be left saying, "Wow, that's definitely not what this looks like in real life! Oh, well!"
Feature 4: Melt-free. Ever really wanted a brilliant shot inside a volcano? With the soon-to-be-released "melt free" coating technology, the possibilities have become realities. Simply throw your new DSLR into the depths! Coupled with auto-retreival, your DSLR will self-levitate and return to you when it's done snapping away!
Feature 5: Image replace. Sometimes the picture you take just doesn't look quite right. Image replace scours the web to find a better image than the shot you just took, downloads it, and overwrites it on your camera's 50TB thumbdrive for your convenience.
Feature 6: Happy sounds. Not happy with your shot? Encouraging voices and applause sound effects are now built in, so get ready to laugh and smile, you wonderful shooter, you!
Feature 7: Variable sensor size. Now, control depth of field without having to play with those annoying aperture wheels.
Feature 8: Auto delete. Did you forget to delete a shot you took earlier? Auto delete will delete shots FOR you. Plus, auto format wipes your data based on intelligent algorithms, so you can stay out of your menus and save valuable time.
Feature 9: Push-to-Facebook. Social networking has evolved, and now, camera technology has caught up. Every shot you take is now auto-posted directly to Facebook, thanks to our partnership with Verizon Wirelessâ€™ 8G Network.
Feature 10: Gum dispenser.