Here's yet another take, from a non-pro.
1. From your writing I'd guess you're pretty young. If so, this is a very good start. You have not "nailed it" yet, but you are, creatively speaking, "asking the right questions" with this photo. Advice #1: keep at it, but don't expect immediate success. Be prepared to make joyful thousands of mistakes as you learn your craft.
2. From what you've already read here, different people like different types of photos, as is true with any art. For example, I think Andy Warhol's work is a waste of canvas and gallery space, but others disagree. You will not please everyone. Advice #2: Know your intended viewership, and your first viewer is YOU. When you're learning, do stuff that you like. If you become a working pro you may need to do what the client expects; until then, take photos for yourself.
3. As suggested above, there are many styles of photography, and your work will evolve over your lifetime. Advice #3: study and replicate the styles of others. Don't do it because it will produce "good" photos, but because it will cause you to think deeply about how and why the photographer chose that style. This will help you develop your styles.
4. Review your personal photo history every year or so; your opinion of your old photos will change: some you liked will lose their appeal. Others you didn't care for may find new value.
For this particular photo:
I agree with others that the framing is off. It's either too tight (for a larger photo) or too wide, for a very small photo. For a small photo, the faces are the main subject, and you could crop by 1/3 or more (I might try to crop the sides to change it from landscape to a very small portrait. For a larger photo (again, as others have said) it's so close as to be unflattering. The outer areas are also a problem: there are large "dead" areas in the upper-left and lower-right of the photo that don't really contribute to the photo. The girl's head-covering pattern contrasts with the smooth texture of the rest of the photo; though this is not inherently a problem, I found it distracting. If you frame out further, for a larger photo, you could potentially include context that would add more textures to the photo so the head-covering doesn't distract, and possibly add value to the message of the photo.
This is a very good start for a young photographer, do not be dissuaded by criticism. Remember to take photos for your own enjoyment, not merely to please a particular type of viewer.