If the lockup is happening in two different camera with different types of firmware, sounds like a hardware issue with a microprocessor or some part of a sensor that both cameras have in them. Strange.
having worked in software for a living I can tell you that you're absolutely way off the mark. Simple fact of software: you share libraries. the D800 and D4 use the same processor and it is logical they share some code.
no doubt they already have a fix but they have to do something called regression testing which takes a lot of time because every dependency needs to be re-tested even if was not directly responsible for the flaw.
Given firmware updates have the potential to turn your camera into a brick, camera OEMs have to test a lot. That is just how software works.
If you're an early adopter of sophisticated gear like this you need to get used to having to tape things around, or work around glitches until the OEM finishes their field testing...aka YOU.