I have a 60D and love it. I moved up from a T2i for the ergonomics. Some of that can be overcome with a grip (and I ended up getting a 3rd party grip for my 60D). That helps with balance and overall handling, although the mode wheel lock, back wheel, etc make a big difference if you fiddle with the controls. If you shoot on auto-everything mode, then they probably won't be that much of an advantage, and I'd go for the t4i for the newer sensor and hybrid AF.
For my "kit" lens, I have a Tamron 17-50 f/2.8 non-VC. Very good image quality, but it is not a USM AF, so don't get if you want full time MF and/or a quiet autofocus. Also no IS, but that is not usually too big of a deal unless you plan to shoot a lot of video.
I also have the 100mm nonL Macro. AWESOME lens- but I've used it mainly for critters. Can not speak to it as a portrait lens. I have a ring flash, but now shoot more with a diffused 430EX on an adjustable flash bracket.
I'm in love with the 70-300L- if you don't shoot wildlife, probably one of the 70-200L might be a good purchase.
I've only run into AF problems in extreme situations (e.g. shooting flying birds). I could see an argument for a better AF camera if you were shooting a ton of fast sports, but in most cases the center point is good enough (I keep my AF on center point, use back-button focus, and recompose or crop for composition).
I have the nifty fifty, which is hard to turn down given the price, but to be honest I don't use it very much.
I also recently got the Sigma 8-16, but that's really not a lens you want to use with people for the most part (in my experience).
If you want more examples-here's a BBQ I took photos at last weekend
Most of these albums
were with the 60D