Well, this made me laugh.
I remember the days of doing intro to photography workshops, and trying to explain these terms logically, at times I made it worse. Much worse.
Chelsea's thoughts on “What is the field?” (regarding depth-of-field):
“I bet one of you nerds knows and you're gonna put it in the comments and be really sassy about it, and I'm gonna comment back, with more sass than you can handle.”