Silly Photokina Rumors

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justawriter

Sep 17, 2012
144
49
;D
From some of the other threads, it seems like the stress of waiting for significant announcements from our favorite (or not) camera company has made some of us a little testy. So as I public service I am starting a thread for rumors that are OBVIOUSLY AND REALLY TRULY TRUE CUZ I HEARED IT FROM A COUSIN OF MY NEIGHBORS AUNT WHOSE HAIRDRESSER MOONLIGHTS AS THE CEO OF CANON, SO THERE!!!!!

So, the first rumor is that the biggest splash at Photokina will be the surprise introduction by all the major companies of edible DSLR cameras, mainly targeted toward the survivalist community. Sony will try to one up the competition by introducing three edible versions of its Alpha series in beef jerky, chocolate and vegetarian surprise flavors. Nikon teamed up with Food Network's Alton Brown to create a three course camera, with a Caesar Salad lens, filet mignon with caper sauce flavored body and a sensor that doubles as a wafer-thin chocolate mint. Canon's entry into the Food Wars will be an exquisite blend of of kombu and katsuobushi which can be used to create an incredible dashi stock that can be used as the base for hundreds of different dishes.

So, what incredible thing do you think will be announced at Photokina?
 
jrista

jrista

EOL
Dec 3, 2011
5,348
36
jonrista.com
The new Canon EF 800mm f/5.6 w/ built-in Trombone and TC conversion. For those of us with a musical side, the new ultra-light 4lb 800 Trombone edition is the perfect lens to take on your trips out into the wild, wild city and set up shop on a corner playing music for tips. When your tired of the bustling noise of city life, you can pack up your gear and head out to the wilderness, where this wonderfully versatile lens, with it's built in teleconverter, will give you 800mm at f/5.6 as well as 1120mm at f/8 max aperture. The added reach of this convertible lens will give you the option of photographing birds and wildlife from a comfortable distance.

Da da, yadda yadda, blah blah, blah blah... ;)
 
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lo lite

lo lite

Apr 29, 2014
103
1
52
Hamburg
justawriter said:
;D
From some of the other threads, it seems like the stress of waiting for significant announcements from our favorite (or not) camera company has made some of us a little testy. So as I public service I am starting a thread for rumors that are OBVIOUSLY AND REALLY TRULY TRUE CUZ I HEARED IT FROM A COUSIN OF MY NEIGHBORS AUNT WHOSE HAIRDRESSER MOONLIGHTS AS THE CEO OF CANON, SO THERE!!!!!

So, the first rumor is that the biggest splash at Photokina will be the surprise introduction by all the major companies of edible DSLR cameras, mainly targeted toward the survivalist community. Sony will try to one up the competition by introducing three edible versions of its Alpha series in beef jerky, chocolate and vegetarian surprise flavors. Nikon teamed up with Food Network's Alton Brown to create a three course camera, with a Caesar Salad lens, filet mignon with caper sauce flavored body and a sensor that doubles as a wafer-thin chocolate mint. Canon's entry into the Food Wars will be an exquisite blend of of kombu and katsuobushi which can be used to create an incredible dashi stock that can be used as the base for hundreds of different dishes.

So, what incredible thing do you think will be announced at Photokina?
Click to expand...

It's true. I have an exclusive picture of that upcoming edible Canon DLSR:

full_1515_96339_CanonCameraCake_1.jpg
 
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DominoDude

DominoDude

Certified photon catcher
Feb 7, 2013
910
2
::1
My solid tip is that the long awaited EF 1200/1.0L will be released as a pancake lens. It'll be short, and you will have one hell of a problem finding filters for it.

The other new release is a teamwork between SanDisk, Ilford and Canon: You'll get the chance to load a dSLR with a hybrid "film" that has integrated APS-C sensors and memory on each frame of the film. New fresh sensor for each shot, and no waiting for the buffer to clear before the next shot. You can go for the next photo directly (after spending 2.7s while hand cranking the next sensor/frame combo into place).
 
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S

StudentOfLight

I'm on a life-long journey of self-discovery
Nov 2, 2013
1,442
5
41
Cape Town
Someone very close to Canon said that that the new 11-24mm f/4 will have a unique coating called Corrective Reliable Automatic Brightness Sensing (CRABS). The CRABS coating automatically darkens part of the front element of the lens to match where anything is overexposed is in frame potentially leading to a dramatic 5 additional stops of dynamic range.
 
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Khufu

Khufu

...
Aug 2, 2013
334
0
37
Merseyside, UK
www.facebook.com
I heard that Canon had reached the limits of Zoom capabilities with the SX50 so they've had to engineer a negative-zooming lens to stay on top of the market. The SX60 shall have a -10x dezoom with nano-compression technology which forces photons into a plaited RGB braid which is only separable by Transgender Foveon Bono-X Technology developed by poached engineers from Sony Ireland and U2 which require hybrid stem cell sensors to be installed on the surface of the user's eyeballs via USB firm-hardware updates to capture the projected images of cuttlefish from the lens inversion as it retracts inside and then protrudes out the back of the camera to achieve its negative focal length, auto-mounting both your eyelids to the hot-shoe to prevent mass, energy and light leaks from corrupting the files on the third SD slot... or something.
There'll be a white one by Christmas 2015 and the battery will come with a sticker professing its own inadequacies, pleading that you buy it some friends for just $72 per 10mA. Please?

...and that 50mm IS guy might show up.
 
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raptor3x

raptor3x

Jan 26, 2012
635
125
State College, PA
whumber.com
jrista said:
The new Canon EF 800mm f/5.6 w/ built-in Trombone and TC conversion. For those of us with a musical side, the new ultra-light 4lb 800 Trombone edition is the perfect lens to take on your trips out into the wild, wild city and set up shop on a corner playing music for tips. When your tired of the bustling noise of city life, you can pack up your gear and head out to the wilderness, where this wonderfully versatile lens, with it's built in teleconverter, will give you 800mm at f/5.6 as well as 1120mm at f/8 max aperture. The added reach of this convertible lens will give you the option of photographing birds and wildlife from a comfortable distance.

Da da, yadda yadda, blah blah, blah blah... ;)
Click to expand...

The .525" version is much easier to carry but the .547" version gives much better Symphonic Range.
 
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jrista

jrista

EOL
Dec 3, 2011
5,348
36
jonrista.com
raptor3x said:
jrista said:
The new Canon EF 800mm f/5.6 w/ built-in Trombone and TC conversion. For those of us with a musical side, the new ultra-light 4lb 800 Trombone edition is the perfect lens to take on your trips out into the wild, wild city and set up shop on a corner playing music for tips. When your tired of the bustling noise of city life, you can pack up your gear and head out to the wilderness, where this wonderfully versatile lens, with it's built in teleconverter, will give you 800mm at f/5.6 as well as 1120mm at f/8 max aperture. The added reach of this convertible lens will give you the option of photographing birds and wildlife from a comfortable distance.

Da da, yadda yadda, blah blah, blah blah... ;)
Click to expand...

The .525" version is much easier to carry but the .547" version gives much better Symphonic Range.
Click to expand...

Absolutely!
 
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