I kinda left this thread, but I found EXACTLY what I'm looking for, and it should explain it better without us talking in circles.
This madman disassembled a Meike 0.71X speedbooster and stuck it in his RF 800mm F11! And it works!
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That. That's it! That is
precisely what I want from Canon, exactly that; a 570mm f8. And if this guy can literally glue it onto an 800mm F11, surely Canon can glue their own 0.71X speedbooster in the same spot and sell it without any extra engineering? Like the YouTuber suggests.
It would go *great* with that 39MP R7II.