Am heartbroken! :(

[jdramirez]

I just realized that my daughter is avoiding me coming to her graduation day after. She was telling her mother "He will bring his big camera and everyone will look at me." Ouch.

You should probably leave your 600mm and extenders at home then ... :

And definitely do not walk around with 3 cameras around your neck

Seriously if she is uncomfortable and you love her, then you know what to do.

I know you won't... but I would love if this story ended us with you going to the pro photog and telling them that you have been added to the shoot by a patron and you are there as a 2nd and maybe then some...

And for the pros out there... I'm not really talking about cramping your style... but there are local craigslist ads asking for people to photograph graduations and they get $60 plus mileage for a day of shooting... and I really don't know that I would trust a craigslist responder with my child's photo... ya know...

http://harrisburg.craigslist.org/med/4934394564.html

 

[tolusina]

......we were always loudest with the cowbells and cheering.......

My youngest hated my cowbell when she ran High School Cross Country too.
Now she's grown, still running 5 & 10ks, half and whole marathons, tells me not to show if I don't bring a bell.
---
@sanj,
Same daughter's UC BerkEley two graduations, many of the grads had silly symbols on their mortarboards, mostly so they could be spotted from the stands.
I shot her walk up to receive her diploma from out towards the perimeter with a long zoom Oly bridge camera, got better shots than the pro/student who was right there on stage. She's never cared a whit for the shots I took, neither has her Mom. YMMV.

I'd still bring a DSLR, 35, 40 or 50 for the socializing part of the event.
This may be the last time she'll see some of her friends, in time she'll likely cherish some of your photos.

 

[greger]

Take your gear and a list of her friends names. Sit in the back with a clear view of where you can get a front shot of them accepting their diplomas. Later print 8x10's for all and give them to your daughter to give to her friends. You will go from old goat to hero in seconds! Being discrete and in the background is the best way to get out front. Good luck!

 

[Ozarker]

At nearly every event my daughter had at school where there was a big crowd I used to stand up, wave with both arms and yell, "Hi Jennifer!!!! We're over here! We love you!" Her and her friends would just laugh. She'd say, "That's my dad." When she was cross country mountain bike and downhill racing we were always loudest with the cowbells and cheering. She'd just smile real big as she passed. We did the same for all her friends.

Most of her friend's parents were divorced and many parents never attended events no matter how important. My daughter remembers that. She brags to her friends about us (she's 30 now) and they cannot believe we are only 20 years older than her.

You're the guy I always try to avoid being around when I go to school (or other public) events. That said, I'm glad your daughter recognized and appreciated your boorish displays of affection...

I'm glad you are glad she recognized and appreciated my boorish displays of affection. Life is very short. Glad I could also give you some gladness. I might be good naturedly boorish at times... but I ain't boring. Ask anybody in the trailer park. Hope you can keep avoiding me. I probably wouldn't like you anyway.

 

[Ozarker]

At nearly every event my daughter had at school where there was a big crowd I used to stand up, wave with both arms and yell, "Hi Jennifer!!!! We're over here! We love you!" Her and her friends would just laugh. She'd say, "That's my dad." When she was cross country mountain bike and downhill racing we were always loudest with the cowbells and cheering. She'd just smile real big as she passed. We did the same for all her friends.

Most of her friend's parents were divorced and many parents never attended events no matter how important. My daughter remembers that. She brags to her friends about us (she's 30 now) and they cannot believe we are only 20 years older than her.

You're the guy I always try to avoid being around when I go to school (or other public) events. That said, I'm glad your daughter recognized and appreciated your boorish displays of affection...

Maybe....but you're the guy who seems the most enthusiastic to be there and the one having the most fun ;D ;D

That's right, by God! Happy to go and happy to have fun! That's what it is all about. Once the kids are grown and gone... life isn't near as much fun. We should enjoy those years to the fullest. Thanks! ;D

 

[KeithBreazeal]

I shot my son's graduation (Humboldt State) from the rear of the seating area. I used the 70-200 on the 5D III and that was quite enough for reach. Consider sitting at the rear so you can get up and shoot when the time comes.

John Humboldt State graduation © Keith Breazeal by Keith Breazeal Photography, on Flickr

 

[charlesa]

I know the feeling having shot my wife's graduation with the 1DX and 70-200 ;D
But she wanted the shots

 

[Northstar]

At nearly every event my daughter had at school where there was a big crowd I used to stand up, wave with both arms and yell, "Hi Jennifer!!!! We're over here! We love you!" Her and her friends would just laugh. She'd say, "That's my dad." When she was cross country mountain bike and downhill racing we were always loudest with the cowbells and cheering. She'd just smile real big as she passed. We did the same for all her friends.

Most of her friend's parents were divorced and many parents never attended events no matter how important. My daughter remembers that. She brags to her friends about us (she's 30 now) and they cannot believe we are only 20 years older than her.

You're the guy I always try to avoid being around when I go to school (or other public) events. That said, I'm glad your daughter recognized and appreciated your boorish displays of affection...

Your comment is a Boorish display!

 

[Northstar]

She will love the photos you take Sanj.....someday. Go for it...but be discreet.

 

[scotia]

She will love the photos you take Sanj.....someday. Go for it...but be discreet.

How do you know she will love the photos? Your daughter seems to have expressed a wish that you are not there with a camera (I am assuming she would be delighted if you were there without one). Why not respect your daughters wish, and when she looks at you as she walks across the platform let her see you smiling and clapping, and showing that in the moment you are a proud dad. Don't let her look up and see a lens where her Dad should be.

 

[AcutancePhotography]

To me the important thing is not to interfere with the enjoyment of the other people at the event. Far too often parents (and especially photographer parents) forget that there are other people there. It is not about one kid and one parent.

Nothing is worse then to have some parent stand up, blocking the view of the people behind them just so they can be ready for *their* kid to walk across the stage. What about the parents of the kid in front of your kid? They are just as interested in seeing their kid as you are of seeing your kid. That has happened to my GF before when her kid was unfortunate enough to be ahead of a photographer parent's kid in line.

So yeah, if you simply have to pull out the big lenses, have the courtesy to stay in the back so you don't interfere with the other people who are equally proud of their kids.

Consideration of others should also be a part of photography.

 

[Valvebounce]

Hi AcutancePhotography.
Whilst I sort of agree with you, you are wrong! Consideration of others should also be a part of photography life.
From my experience it is something that is demonstrated less and less recently, from those on public transport listening to their ithing without headphones, to the iPad photographers blocking as much if not more than those with an SLR, but neither group should be blocking, to the parent with the child having a screaming tantrum that thinks 50 other people are wrong for complaining that they don't remove their child from a quiet lounge!

Edit. Btw I'm from the "if you don't stop grizzling you'll get something to grizzle about" generation and don't believe that a single slap leg or bum (or even six of the best with a cane) ever harmed me or made me a worse person, in fact I believe this discipline helped me to become a better person. Rest assured I do not condone beating seven bells out of a child, this is assault not discipline.
"Nomex on" ;D

Cheers, Graham.

Consideration of others should also be a part of photography.

 

[AcutancePhotography]

when she looks at you as she walks across the platform let her see you smiling and clapping, and showing that in the moment you are a proud dad. Don't let her look up and see a lens where her Dad should be.

That is an excellent point!!!

I wonder how many kids of photographers have memories of their parent only being the objective end of a lens?

I think a child would much prefer the memory of actually seeing the face of a proud parent than seeing an impersonal lens.

It would be a shame if a child only has pictures of themselves and a fuzzy memory of what their parents looked like sans camera.

 

[Maiaibing]

I just realized that my daughter is avoiding me coming to her graduation day after. She was telling her mother "He will bring his big camera and everyone will look at me." Ouch.

Respect your child and enjoy the day with her instead of making it a tug of war.

 

[JohanCruyff]

If you take your Sigma 200-500 F/2.8 plus converters with you and shoot from a few hundred meters distance, for sure nobody will notice you.

 

[zlatko]

Go the other way: 40mm pancake lens. Small & unobtrusive.

 

[distant.star]

Edit. Btw I'm from the "if you don't stop grizzling you'll get something to grizzle about" generation and don't believe that a single slap leg or bum (or even six of the best with a cane) ever harmed me or made me a worse person, in fact I believe this discipline helped me to become a better person. Rest assured I do not condone beating seven bells out of a child, this is assault not discipline.

This is rather far afield of parents taking pictures of children at public celebrations and events. However, I never let an opportunity pass when someone says it's okay to hit children -- in effect teaching them that assault and violence are solutions to problems. Two insights...

1. I've noticed that parents who say it's okay to hit children always stop hitting them when the child gets big enough to hit back with some authority.

2. I spent a lot of years teaching parenting education to prisoners in state prisons. In every class, at least one prisoner would pipe up and say, "Well, my father hit me, and I turned out okay."

 

[takesome1]

I just realized that my daughter is avoiding me coming to her graduation day after. She was telling her mother "He will bring his big camera and everyone will look at me." Ouch.

All through history parents have been embarrassing their children. You should embrace your role and take your camera.

What better day for your daughter to learn this lesson than on her graduation.

She will not hate you for years to come because you brought your big camera.

 

[KeithBreazeal]

You can also be like all the other parents and hold up your smart phone and shoot like all the other parents- everybody is used to those kinds of annoying "photographers".

 

[takesome1]

You can also be like all the other parents and hold up your smart phone and shoot like all the other parents- everybody is used to those kinds of annoying "photographers".

Those people are the worst.

People with little bitty cameras have to run down and get as close as they can when their kids go across stage. They get in the way when your kid goes across and you have to scream at them to move "MY KIDS GOING NOW, MOVE YOU A _ _ _ _ _ _".

It is far less embarrassing if Dad is on the back row behind everyone with his big long telephoto lens.