Nicely done.
I've not shot real estate videos, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn... Seriously, I've bought and sold a lot of real estate, so my thoughts center around the selling/buying side in terms of what I'd want to see as a buyer and what I'd want to show as a seller.
As others have said, it needs some movement/interest, perhaps achieved from interesting angles, pulled focus, and something to give it life (I like the food and candles ideas). Since you can't go back and shoot, those are things to keep in mind for the next one.
For this one, I wonder if editing it a little differently might work better. It seemed to jump indoors and out without real motivation for doing so. I can see jumping outdoors after looking through a window, but it didn't seem to flow as is. I favor a more straight-forward approach, such as a "tour" or a one-room-at-a-time style. It doesn't have to be boring, but it seems to me that it should not jump around too much. Perhaps some motion on the stills of the pool table room and the bedroom at the beginning? The outdoors are a real selling point. This means that you should begin and end with the outdoors. Hook them with the best and leave them with a good taste in their mouth. The view of the outside back is impressive. Perhaps that motivates the movement from outside to inside. Then tour the inside and leave them with the walk down the deck and the view from the dock?
Just my thoughts. Nice work overall.
