Not much more to add that hasn't been said. But in my opinion, the look of your model doesn't go with the background at all. She is smiling and posing as if she is taking a Senior portrait with her head tilted, hair to the side and bright smile... but then she is in front of this moody grungy background.
They just don't make sense together. If you are going for an environmental portrait (since it is all in focus I'm assuming you are), she needs to connect more to it. What is she doing there? What is the story you are trying to tell?
Or you can go to the other extreme and make her completely juxtaposed to the background by pumping up the bubblegum sweetness of her look. But she'd need a more extreme fashion choice for that.
Just my .02
They just don't make sense together. If you are going for an environmental portrait (since it is all in focus I'm assuming you are), she needs to connect more to it. What is she doing there? What is the story you are trying to tell?
Or you can go to the other extreme and make her completely juxtaposed to the background by pumping up the bubblegum sweetness of her look. But she'd need a more extreme fashion choice for that.
Just my .02
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