The Unofficial Canon Rumors FAQ
These are some commonly asked questions and their commonly given answers. Please read it in the humorous spirit in which it was written. No offense is intended to anyone. Please feel free to add questions and answers I may have omitted.
Question 1: Should I buy the EOS 8DXQ Mk VIII or should I wait for the Mk IX? I hear it is going to have 7 trillion mega pixel and have triple redundant combined GPS/WiFi.
Answer 1a: Definitely buy it right away. If you don't have it now, you can't be taking pictures. Therefore you have no right to call yourself a photographer. The new version is just a rumor and may never ever ever happen. That means you will be wasting your life away waiting for an imaginary product. Even if the new version does come out tomorrow you can always sell the old version for way more than the new. I once bought a toy camera at a garage sale for $2 and sold it for $2.38. See that proves you should buy it now.
Answer 1b: Wait!! Always wait. A new model could be released any minute now. Companies are always coming out with new models. If you buy this today and the new model comes tomorrow you'll feel like a fool. You'll be too embarrassed to ever show your face on the CR forum again. It has a CR37 rating so for sure it has already been announced and the internet just hasn't caught up yet. The old model quits working the day the new one is released so you don't want to get stuck with one of those. In fact you should sell all your camera gear just in case.
Question 2: Why haven't I seen the <insert Canon item of desire here> yet?? It was CR6.7 19 months ago. What gives?
Answer 2a: Rumors are not an exact science. One needs hundreds of years of accurate data to predict arrival of products.
Answer 2b: How could you believe a CR6.7 rumor. Didn't you read the micro table at the right. It clearly states in fine print that only a clown or a fool would be desperate enough to even read that rumor let alone believe it may some day happen.
Answer 2c: Canonland has had 4 major disasters and 37 minor disasters this month. No one can possibly plan ahead for things that may happen. If they had known it was going to rain, they would have built a roof over the plant. Well actually one of the engineers though it could possibly rain, but management ruled that could never happen in order to maximize his bonus. It may take six days to mop up all the water.
Question 3: I have a dog with 3 legs and I didn't like the movie 'Top Gun' Should I buy product A or product B? I have some money to spend.
Answer 3a: Buy product C it only costs way more than you want to spend and the IQ is mediocre but the AF speed is to die for.
Answer 3b: We can't possibly answer that question without a complete list of all camera equipment you own, have owned in the past or may buy in the the future. We also need a complete listing of all photos you have taken with full EXIF data, what PP adjustments you have made and why you shot those particular pics. Please also include your social security number and bank account info.
Answer 3c: Product A is prefect for my needs. I can't even think of a situation why I would use product B. I not even sure why they make it. You definitely want to get product A.
Question 4: (not really a question) All Canon products are ancestors of Hoover vacuums, I'm changing to NiCon because their products are practically perfect in every way.
Answer 4a: Good riddance. Don't let the door ...
Answer 4b: You must be a troll to say anything bad about Canon or it's products. Moderator please throw this person out immediately.
Answer 4c: Oh no. Please don't go. Canon will fix it. I promise.
Answer 4d: Canon is about to release a new widget that will blow NiCon away. I read about it on this site so it will definitely happen.
Question 5: OH MY GOD!! (spoken with Valley Girl accent) Retailer H&B has been out of stock on the EF 98.6mm Macro Zoom for the last ten minutes. Canon is offering a $0.50 rebate on the lens if you buy it with a new camera body, printer and flash. Also 36th Ave Camera web site is offline. Does this means the MkII is being released tomorrow?
Answer 5a: My tea leaves spelled out the word 'YIIC' this morning. This must mean "Yes it is coming." So I'm sure you are correct and a new zoom is imminent.
Answer 5b: Don't be crazy. That data is meaningless. No one can observe the world around them and try and predict what may happen.
Question 6: Is Full Frame or APS-C format better?
Answer 6a: FF is obviously better. Anyone shooting anything else just doesn't know what they are doing. With my PRO FF camera I can get the eyeball of a gnat in perfect focus while getting a creamy blur on it's butt. All pictures should be taken with a depth of field so thin that less than 2% of your picture is in focus. If you're not using FF you must have small reproductive organs.
Answer 6b: You have to spend like a billion bucks to get the reach of a APS-C sensor with FF camera. I once took a picture of a Hummingbird that was 3 miles away. Yes it's really small and hard to seen but at a 100% crop with sharping enhancing software you can sort of make it out. Just try doing that with a full frame camera.
Answer 6c: Each format has it's benefits....blah blah blah.
Question 7: Which is better, more mega pixels or better pixels?
Answer 7a: Great taste
Answer 7b: Less filling
Answer 7c: All pixels are created equal but some are more equal than others.
Answer 7d: Discussion of religion or politics is forbidden on this forum.
Answer 7e: Obviously more better mega pixels are better.
Question 8: When do you think the new XYZ will be <released, produced. available, announced. retired, designed, etc>?
Answer 8a: The janitor at the local camera store told me that he small some empty space on the backroom shelves up high. So he thinks this means a new full frame body must be coming soon.
Answer 8b: You should do a poll because polls are always correct. (Unless they disagree with what I voted.)
Answer 8c: No one knows anything. If they did know something, they wouldn't be allowed to tell you. If fact the secret service is investigating Canon to find out how they manage to keep things so quiet. So quit asking. No really I mean it. Quit asking.
Question 9: <Insert your favorite science based question than most people won't understand and even less people care about here>
Answer 9: Let's wait for Neuro to answer.
Question 10: Why do I get zinged? I go to church every third Sunday and change my underwear once a week. I always give perfect answers so everyone should agree with me. There must be a conspiracy against me.
Answer 10: No answer required.
These are some commonly asked questions and their commonly given answers. Please read it in the humorous spirit in which it was written. No offense is intended to anyone. Please feel free to add questions and answers I may have omitted.
Question 1: Should I buy the EOS 8DXQ Mk VIII or should I wait for the Mk IX? I hear it is going to have 7 trillion mega pixel and have triple redundant combined GPS/WiFi.
Answer 1a: Definitely buy it right away. If you don't have it now, you can't be taking pictures. Therefore you have no right to call yourself a photographer. The new version is just a rumor and may never ever ever happen. That means you will be wasting your life away waiting for an imaginary product. Even if the new version does come out tomorrow you can always sell the old version for way more than the new. I once bought a toy camera at a garage sale for $2 and sold it for $2.38. See that proves you should buy it now.
Answer 1b: Wait!! Always wait. A new model could be released any minute now. Companies are always coming out with new models. If you buy this today and the new model comes tomorrow you'll feel like a fool. You'll be too embarrassed to ever show your face on the CR forum again. It has a CR37 rating so for sure it has already been announced and the internet just hasn't caught up yet. The old model quits working the day the new one is released so you don't want to get stuck with one of those. In fact you should sell all your camera gear just in case.
Question 2: Why haven't I seen the <insert Canon item of desire here> yet?? It was CR6.7 19 months ago. What gives?
Answer 2a: Rumors are not an exact science. One needs hundreds of years of accurate data to predict arrival of products.
Answer 2b: How could you believe a CR6.7 rumor. Didn't you read the micro table at the right. It clearly states in fine print that only a clown or a fool would be desperate enough to even read that rumor let alone believe it may some day happen.
Answer 2c: Canonland has had 4 major disasters and 37 minor disasters this month. No one can possibly plan ahead for things that may happen. If they had known it was going to rain, they would have built a roof over the plant. Well actually one of the engineers though it could possibly rain, but management ruled that could never happen in order to maximize his bonus. It may take six days to mop up all the water.
Question 3: I have a dog with 3 legs and I didn't like the movie 'Top Gun' Should I buy product A or product B? I have some money to spend.
Answer 3a: Buy product C it only costs way more than you want to spend and the IQ is mediocre but the AF speed is to die for.
Answer 3b: We can't possibly answer that question without a complete list of all camera equipment you own, have owned in the past or may buy in the the future. We also need a complete listing of all photos you have taken with full EXIF data, what PP adjustments you have made and why you shot those particular pics. Please also include your social security number and bank account info.
Answer 3c: Product A is prefect for my needs. I can't even think of a situation why I would use product B. I not even sure why they make it. You definitely want to get product A.
Question 4: (not really a question) All Canon products are ancestors of Hoover vacuums, I'm changing to NiCon because their products are practically perfect in every way.
Answer 4a: Good riddance. Don't let the door ...
Answer 4b: You must be a troll to say anything bad about Canon or it's products. Moderator please throw this person out immediately.
Answer 4c: Oh no. Please don't go. Canon will fix it. I promise.
Answer 4d: Canon is about to release a new widget that will blow NiCon away. I read about it on this site so it will definitely happen.
Question 5: OH MY GOD!! (spoken with Valley Girl accent) Retailer H&B has been out of stock on the EF 98.6mm Macro Zoom for the last ten minutes. Canon is offering a $0.50 rebate on the lens if you buy it with a new camera body, printer and flash. Also 36th Ave Camera web site is offline. Does this means the MkII is being released tomorrow?
Answer 5a: My tea leaves spelled out the word 'YIIC' this morning. This must mean "Yes it is coming." So I'm sure you are correct and a new zoom is imminent.
Answer 5b: Don't be crazy. That data is meaningless. No one can observe the world around them and try and predict what may happen.
Question 6: Is Full Frame or APS-C format better?
Answer 6a: FF is obviously better. Anyone shooting anything else just doesn't know what they are doing. With my PRO FF camera I can get the eyeball of a gnat in perfect focus while getting a creamy blur on it's butt. All pictures should be taken with a depth of field so thin that less than 2% of your picture is in focus. If you're not using FF you must have small reproductive organs.
Answer 6b: You have to spend like a billion bucks to get the reach of a APS-C sensor with FF camera. I once took a picture of a Hummingbird that was 3 miles away. Yes it's really small and hard to seen but at a 100% crop with sharping enhancing software you can sort of make it out. Just try doing that with a full frame camera.
Answer 6c: Each format has it's benefits....blah blah blah.
Question 7: Which is better, more mega pixels or better pixels?
Answer 7a: Great taste
Answer 7b: Less filling
Answer 7c: All pixels are created equal but some are more equal than others.
Answer 7d: Discussion of religion or politics is forbidden on this forum.
Answer 7e: Obviously more better mega pixels are better.
Question 8: When do you think the new XYZ will be <released, produced. available, announced. retired, designed, etc>?
Answer 8a: The janitor at the local camera store told me that he small some empty space on the backroom shelves up high. So he thinks this means a new full frame body must be coming soon.
Answer 8b: You should do a poll because polls are always correct. (Unless they disagree with what I voted.)
Answer 8c: No one knows anything. If they did know something, they wouldn't be allowed to tell you. If fact the secret service is investigating Canon to find out how they manage to keep things so quiet. So quit asking. No really I mean it. Quit asking.
Question 9: <Insert your favorite science based question than most people won't understand and even less people care about here>
Answer 9: Let's wait for Neuro to answer.
Question 10: Why do I get zinged? I go to church every third Sunday and change my underwear once a week. I always give perfect answers so everyone should agree with me. There must be a conspiracy against me.
Answer 10: No answer required.
