Am heartbroken! :(

[geekpower]

All through history parents have been embarrassing their children. You should embrace your role and take your camera.

What better day for your daughter to learn this lesson than on her graduation.

She will not hate you for years to come because you brought your big camera.

I could not disagree with this stronger.

Her graduation day is certainly not a day to embarrass her and teach her a lesson! It's a day to celebrate and show appreciation for what she has accomplished. What any child wants (regardless of age) is the approval of their parents. Second guessing her wishes on her big day is clearly showing disapproval, and is likely to cause hard feelings that last for years. Even as memories of the event fade, the memory of being treated without respect will linger.

 

[takesome1]

All through history parents have been embarrassing their children. You should embrace your role and take your camera.

What better day for your daughter to learn this lesson than on her graduation.

She will not hate you for years to come because you brought your big camera.

I could not disagree with this stronger.

Her graduation day is certainly not a day to embarrass her and teach her a lesson! It's a day to celebrate and show appreciation for what she has accomplished. What any child wants (regardless of age) is the approval of their parents. Second guessing her wishes on her big day is clearly showing disapproval, and is likely to cause hard feelings that last for years. Even as memories of the event fade, the memory of being treated without respect will linger.

Do you think the parents desire to document the big accomplishment doesn't show appreciation of her accomplishment?

Respect runs both ways, the day means something to both. The graduate should also have respect for the parent that made sure they had a proper education.

If we raise an all about "Me" person it is a failure. On a day when their success is honored those that got them there should be honored as well.

 

[KeithBreazeal]

You know, raising a child is not an easy task. The pride a parent has when that child makes it to the point of graduation is a major milestone. If you want to take pictures of that moment, you are entitled to it. If the child doesn't respect your wishes, just ask for their house key back and wish them good luck. It's one of those tough love things. OK, that was harsh but kids don't understand how much their parents went through until they are about 30 years old.

 

[Deleted member 91053]

I always hated my father taking pictures of me at events with his very discrete Leica iiiG. My father is long gone but I still have the Leica - just wish I still had the pictures he took!

 

[TAF]

I just realized that my daughter is avoiding me coming to her graduation day after. She was telling her mother "He will bring his big camera and everyone will look at me." Ouch.

I am having trouble envisioning this. Unless this is a very small event, the graduate won't even be able to see you in the audience with the lights shining on them.

As for the professional taking photos, that is fine if there is one there. When I got my masters, there wasn't. Fortunately, my wife was there with my camera.

 

[sanj]

Thank you all for your comments. So many different perspectives!!! I did not know this will turn out to be such a learning experience.
I appreciate all the comments but to keep this short let me address few:

AcutancePhotography: There is a huge difference between the official photographer - direct flash/clinical versus the candid kind of photos we would take. And yes of course I attended the ceremony for the daughter and not for my photography. This is certainly not the kind of photography I am at all interested in. It is all for her - to have more memories of the event.

Mrzero: You are so right. Hahahaha. I tried to explain but how do you get through to someone who will not come home after the function and go out with friends?

JumboShrimp: You are so right. More about this after I respond to some posts.

Lion Rock: I can understand, I used to have a pony tail and my relatives wanted it cut for a cousin's wedding.

Valvebounce: Absolutely my point!

 

[sanj]

Distant.star: :0 Wait for my report of the event.

CanonFanBoy: Ohhh. That is sweet. She will never forget those moments. I am just like that too. Live is too short to be conscious and restrained.

Scotia: You express your feelings so nicely and have real concern for the young girl's feelings.

AcutancePhotography: Of course having respect for others and the event goes without saying.

Takesome1: I know my daughter. She is actually proud of her papa and loves that I take pains to take photos of events that are important to her. She knows this kind of photography (events/birthdays) is not for me.

KeithBreazeal: Wait for the report - will show you some photos.

Serendipidy: Yes, the issue was not the photography but the big camera. Which would make everyone look at the person I was pointing the camera at and she did not want to become the center of the attention.

Takesome1: Sweet. As much as I appreciate her accomplishment, I wanted to take pictures for Her. Photos which the school photographer will not take.

 

[sanj]

KeithBreazeal: So true! I myself did not respect my parent's small desires until I crossed 40. But I must point out again, taking these photos does not provide me with any joy except to help the child get more photos to look at of the event.

Johnf3f: Sorry to hear about your father. And this is why I took photos...

 

[sanj]

Here is the report. What a learning experience!
I totally failed with the lens I selected! I went with a preconcieved idea of the function and did not do proper research. In past all her school functions were in the open and parents were at a considerable distance away (something like KeithBreazeal photo). I found myself in a dimly, very dimly lit indoor auditorium. Felt like banging the Sigma 150-600 f5 on my head. 70-200 f2.8 would have been the appropriate lens - opening wider by 3 stops, smaller, correct focal length. Bumped up the ISO to 6000 and still getting 1/15 shutter. Damn. Note to self: Must do proper prep and not be an idiot.

I was amongst the early ones and was pointed to sit in the second row from front. Not good I kept telling myself as the lens could block the view of people behind me. But since I would not have to stand up, it would be more or less ok.

The girls started walking in from behind me walking through the isle towards the stage. I could not get any photos as I was totally immobile and at 1/15 all shots with any movement were going to be useless anyways.

The ceremony started and I realized that the official photographer was strictly doing what he was there for: 1 single photo of the girls receiving the certificate. I steadied myself and took some shots.

You be the judge if me taking the camera was worth it or not. I know with better lens choice I would have had better photos.

A note before I post the pictures, the daughter met me in the evening and hugged me and said thank you for the photos (I took of her friend's also, many of who have posted them on their face book page). I asked her to see this thread and her first response was "Oh you and this Canon Rumor 'thing' again? Don't you get bored?" She read all the comments smiling right through, occasionally giggling while shaking her head in agreement. And then she asked me for money to go out with friends for dinner. So am not sure if the hug and all was true or a ploy get the car and dinner money. Hmmmm.

Here are the pictures, it is obvious which is the one taken by the school photographer.

 

[sanj]

More

 

[sanj]

Behind the scene. The obvious death of point and shoot, let alone a DSLR for SUCH events. Which perhaps could be the main source of income for camera manufactures. (Just a speculation).

In the third photo you can see Shyena forwarding her camera to me so I can take a photo on HER cell for her to upload instantaneously! All these photos taken from my iPhone.

4th photo of me and her. I do not think she looks very unhappy.

 

[privatebydesign]

I think your image is nicer than the 'official' one.

 

[sanj]

Thank you Private for the comment and the correction. So I guess it was worth it a little bit.

 

[Valvebounce]

Hi Sanj.
Shame about the lens choice, but hey if you really took that at 1/15th hand held with a 150-600 (pretty heavy lens), damn man that is good.
What I see there is a picture of a very proud young lady and further down two vey happy very proud people.
Very nice job on the correction PBD.
I would go with the hug was for real , not just to get the keys!

Cheers, Graham.

 

[sanj]

Hi Sanj.
Shame about the lens choice, but hey if you really took that at 1/15th hand held with a 150-600 (pretty heavy lens), damn man that is good.
What I see there is a picture of a very proud young lady and further down two vey happy very proud people.
Very nice job on the correction PBD.
I would go with the hug was for real , not just to get the keys!

Cheers, Graham.

Hi Graham.
Yes I do believe the hug was for real. We met again this morning and I showed her how to batch convert RAW files to JPEG. She was not happy that I shot RAW. Hahahaha.

I have not posted all the shaken photos. There are more of them then the sharp ones. I managed to rest the lens on a chair in front of me. It had IS. But anytime anyone is moving, the photo is unusable.

Thank you for your comment. Yes we were happy. Me happier because I MAY not have to pay for her schooling anymore. She is a big girl and needs to fend for herself while I go on photo trips all over the world. But it does not work like that in India completely. A father is supposed to take care of the daughter till she gets married. And then some. Different cultures..!

 

[zim]

But it does not work like that in India completely. A father is supposed to take care of the daughter till she gets married. And then some. Different cultures..!

Half way round the world and not different from where I'm sitting sanj! ;D
Having a 21 year old myself, the dinner and car keys thing gave me a good laugh.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing, the 70-200 would indeed have been perfect and with the pre-occupation of others with the event would not have been out of place or really noticed.

Congratulations to you both

 

[sanj]

But it does not work like that in India completely. A father is supposed to take care of the daughter till she gets married. And then some. Different cultures..!

Half way round the world and not different from where I'm sitting sanj! ;D
Having a 21 year old myself, the dinner and car keys thing gave me a good laugh.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing, the 70-200 would indeed have been perfect and with the pre-occupation of others with the event would not have been out of place or really noticed.

Congratulations to you both

Thank you Zim.

 

[distant.star]

.
Thanks for allowing us to share in your family celebration. It's been very heartwarming! (And you're a good father, so nice to see!)

 

[takesome1]

SANJ

You got to be you at the event.
She still loves her Dad.
Job well done IMO.
It is the response I always got from my kids in this type of seario.

When my sons graduated I shot both. Over 500 pictures and I got a few exceptional.
They never paid attention to Dad, asked for some cash afterwards and they were gone. I did the same with my parents, why would I expect different.

 

[rcarca]

I have just seen this thread. My daughters are often "embarrassed" by my cameras. My younger daughter played in the National Youth Orchestra for the Queen's recent jubilee celebrations. You could not have had a prouder father. After the event I took a few decent (IMvHO) photographs. She was totally horrified when I posted one on Social media and I learned my lesson (yet again) post nothing without prior approval...

Violins Leaving the Stage by RCARCARCA, on Flickr

Proud fathers!!!